"I am the wilderness locked in a cage, I am a growing force you kept in place..."

Here I am,

sitting in my kitchen with my two lovely sisters. My baby sis (who's in the pictures) and my 3 years older sister (the blondie who poses in my pictures quite often)

My older sister is making brownies and my little sister is giving advise (and telling her views on things) while I write this and try to jump in the conversation every now and then and old Christmas songs play in the background. (I love multy tasking :P)

And I just have to say, I LOVE these moments...all of us 3, we're really close and we always have the most meaningful conversations together in this kitchen, while one of us bakes...and it's... just...perfect! These are the simple little moments that I live for and enjoy the most in this life. In just few minutes to few hours our relationship gets deeper and we feel more closer to each other and know what's going on in our lifes, just by baking and talking together...we might go on with our own lifes for weeks not really talking that much, but there always comes a time when we meet up in the kitchen and spill our guts.

It's funny how much things have changed in just few years and it's even funnier how much things can change in just weeks...you think that life just stands still and nothing happens...and then you meet up with your sisters in the kitchen, listen to what has happened to them and tell what has happened to yourself and realize that the world goes on all the time and you and everybody else around you keeps changing wether you want it or not...

Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new... but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design? ~Paracelsus

Well here's some pictures I took of my litle siser today. Man, let me say it again, I have a beautiful family, don't I? ;)
The one at the bottom is my favourite one. I love how her mouth is relaxed and you can see her other eye peaking behind the feather...and look at that skin...she has always had the most beautiful skin ever. Simply just beautiful girl.

Love,
PaperHeart


Song I love by Oh Laura - release me

"you're no kissing queen..."

More fall nature pictures...

thought it would be fun since I haven't taken nature pictures in a long time :)

that's all...nothing less nothing more today...

Love,

PaperHeart

The poetry of the earth is never dead. ~John Keats

This is Ivy League - kissing queen (sounds a bit like kings of convenience)

"You Will Know What To Do..."

I have a love hate relationship with fall.

I love fall because:

- that's when I have my birthday

-there's no other season with so many colors

-I love the smell of wet ground

-you know that Christmas is bit closer

-you can dress up in nice big wool shirts

-scarf tiiiiiiime, pretty pretty scarfs

-it's the time of the year when sitting inside under your blankets is exceptable

-beautiful light outside to take pictures

I hate fall because:

-IT'S SO FREAKING COLD!

-It means that my favorite season, Summer, is oveeeeeeeeer :(

-I don't get to wear pretty dresses outside anymore

-it just keeps getting colder till you can't feel your feet and fingers

-skin and lips get dry and it hurts

-it's dark(er)...which sucks...

Song that will make you feel warmer on this cold fall day:

"If I had another chance..."

Went to see a "light show" there was in a theme park. I have to tell you that I was a bit dissapointed, I expected MUCH more...but here's all I got...I couldn't really take a lot of photos cause my hands were freeeezing to death.

Anyways, things at this end are moving forward a bit, had a job interview today and I really hope it went well, fingers crossed...

That's about it for today...empty head...

...but a full heart...

Sometimes I feel like the girl in this vid:

M:"need help?"

W:"who doesn't"

M:"Is that your heart?"

W:"yeah"

M:"it's big"

W: "It's small now..."

M:"small?"

W:"It was bigger before..."

M:"Scary"

W:"Yeah that's my problem..."

Aaaaaaaaaaw...I hate that man for doing that to her and not showing up! I know I know it's a freaking music video but still...well made one, at least the thought behind it...

"Life=Risk"

A very motivating video my friend send me today...

Thought I'd like to share it here:

Love,

PaperHeart

"my skin is like a map of where my heart has been..."

Drawing I made today...took a "couple" of hours...

thought I'd share...

Love,

PaperHeart

"my love's too big for you my love..."

Once again I was playing around with my camera and tried to take photos with a sort of oldish andgelish feel to them and I think they turned out pretty nice. The bottom one is my favorite.

I was just listening to Ingrid Michaelson today (love her and loved her even more live in England) and somehow the lyrics in the song 'sort of' hit me, cause sometimes I'm "scared" that when I fall in love, like Ingrid sings, my love will be too big for you my love...I've talked about this before, my crave for love and my romantic side (that's pretty dominate side of me) I give a lot of love and I need a lot of it back...I really like the lyrics...sort of sad and happy at the same time. Ok, I'll just stop rambling about the L.O.V.E again hahah...

Here they are and the song is at the bottom again like always:

Baby, you've got the sort of hands to rip me apart
And baby, you've got the sort of face to start this old heart
But your eyes are warning me this early morning
That my love's too big for you my love


Baby, you've got the sort of laugh that waters me
And makes me grow tall and strong and proud and flattens me
I find you stunning, but you are running me down
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Baby, you've got the sort of eyes that tell me tales
That your sort of mouth just will not say, the truth impales
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My loves too big for you my love
My loves too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Tell me what to do, to take away the you

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no.
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Love,

PaperHeart

"did I sell my soul for this feeling so long ago?"

Hahaaaaaaa!

So the guys/"my clients" hahah showed the pictures yesterday so it is ok for me to show them off here now :)

I really had blast doing this, I love when people dress up and get into the their characters and you just shoot "randomly" what they are doing :D oh and when you have such beautiful cars to use in those photos, aaaaah! PERFECT!

I just wish I'd own nice objects and good light :/ I have good ideas (although this idea was not mine but a "dream" that the guys had) but just not the means always to make them come true :(

Oh well, someday...

Anyways hope you'll enjoy these and have something to say about them :)

I was pleased to see 3 of the pictures hanging on their living room wall.

don't really have thought in my head right now...nothing that would move you people in anyway...except that I've finally come terms with the fact that fall truly is here...suuuuucks! cause it's getting colder and I can't wear my summer dresses anymore...

Love,

PaperHeart

"Another day...just breathe..."

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!! WOOOP WOOOP!!!

I love it and I hate it at the sametime! :D

I like the older version of this song better, the slower one, but here it is anyways :)

Kind of tells about my feelings right now :D haha

"into a world of possibilities..."

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. ~Sylvia Plath

Hey there people, who ever you are, where ever you've come from!

I'm not sure if I have anything smart to say today. I feel somewhat tired and drained with life. I know and yet don't know why. Just a feeling I've had these couple of days. I'm guessing that there's mainly stress behind it this time. Funny thing stress is, it can drain you completely...even physically. Stress can be good for you as well as bad. It pushes you further in life, yet like most things in life, if you take it too far and don't know how to relax it will take sontrol over you and can even make you lose your mind. But don't worry, I'm not that stressed that I'd need mental help...atleast not yet :P

I should actually feel quite relaxed with my life right now...I have "nothing" to worry about and no ones expecting anything from me. So why do I feel stressed? Maybe exactly couse I have nothing to worry about. I have "nothing", which makes you stressed, couse you feel like you're nothing yourself and don't have a future. I know I'm not nothing, I am me and quite happy about that, but like I said, funny thing that stress ;D

Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. ~Douglas Pagels

Anyways, I had a photo shoot on friday again, but I'm affraid I'm not "allowed" to show them just yet. My "clients" want to show them to their friends and stuff before I can show them off here :)

But here's few of the family photos I took like a month ago (this is the family I worked for in England...gorgeous children)

Hope you enjoy these few pics

Love,

PaperHeart

"your mouth is a trumpet somebody else plays..."

All sorts of bodily diseases are produced by half-used minds. ~George Bernard Shaw

Yes, once again I'm being selfcentered for a moment, but I have a point to make with these photos, so bare with me won't yah! :)

I was going through my old photos and I ran into these pictures. These pictures are probably like 5 years old and my selfportraits from those days (which means I was around 16-17 years old). Right before I ran into these photos I talked with my friend and how much we're both annoyed with all the weightloss obsession that has taken over this world. (you already know how I feel about this since I've ranted about it before :P hahah) How it seems that the world just runs around looks and being skinnier and skinnier. It's a completely different thing to change your lifestyles to be healthy, than to diet yourself to death just couse you wanna be size 0.

"Funny" thing is that the people who obsess about it are the ones that have the least to worry about. The ones that are already skinny.

See the pictures above? that girl in those photos thought she was fat. Really!I was actually shocked myself when I saw those photos and remembered what my thoughts were. I really honestly did think I was big. WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT?! What on earth makes your head get so messed up? Why do we keep doing these things to ourselves? Torturing over something so tiny. I'm pretty sure that we were not born to this world to lose weight and weist our lifes on counting calories and how many steps we take today. There are far more important things in life! I know I myself still have some work to do on that field. I do every now and then wake up with the 'fat' thoughts, we all do and we ALL should just stop. Living healthy is great and I ingourage to do so, but it seems that we can't (atleast women can't) seem to keep it in control, we always take it too far. Way too far. If nothing else makes you realize that then just open the tv, it's freaking over loaded with weightloss programs and documentaries of anorexia. If I hear anyone talk to me about how fat they are or how they should lose weight one more time I'm gonna lose my mind.

Anyways, that was that for today. I know I didn't change anybodys life with this and the world will just keep doing things as always. But hey, atleast I got to let it all out and maybe just maybe realized something really important myself.

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment. ~Iara Gassen

Love,

PaperHeart

Some Priscilla Ahn again...

"I forgot to tell you I love you..."

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~Mother Teresa

Amen! Mother teresa clearly knew what she was talking about.

Love is the name of the game today.

I've been wondering about love lately and what it's all about (guess it's cause of all of the wedding photos) Love in the romantic sense that is. Not the way you love your mother or your friends, the way you love that someone special. Have I ever felt it? I don't know...I think so, yet I can't really say. Well I can honestly say that I haven't felt the "oh I'd go to the other end of the world, give you all the stars and die for you" kind of love. The kind where you give yourself to the other person 100%, don't hold back and just trust with your whole life on the other person.

I'm probably one of the most romantic people there are in the world and I might have maybe a bit too high expectations when it comes to love. No I'm not the crazy type who expects to be showered with gifts, serenades, love poems (although those are nice) and romantic meals all the time. I do have my feet on the ground. I know that the type of things that happen in movies are not real life, but sometimes I do wish something like that would happen to me. To be swept off my feet...I wanna feel that feeling. To be utterly and compelety in love. Who's to say that things can't happen in real life the way they are in movies? What is stopping us from doing things sometimes like in the movies? Just couse it's not real life, doesn't mean that we shouldn't try (atleast sometimes)...I know I'm gonna stay in my goofy romantic ways for the rest of my life. It's part of me, it is who I am...runs in my veins. And I'm probably gonna end up being the romantic one in the relationship..but hey it's ok cause I love giving as much as recieving. Making the other person happy. All though if I never got anything romantic back I'd probably "die", hahah yeha sounding like a romantic looney right now.

I do think about love quite often actually. Probably couse I feel the need for it all the time. Ponder it, and think of the different ways there are to love someone. It's the one thing that keeps this world running and not dying completely. Think about it. We'd probably all be dead without love. Couse with love comes kindness, caring for each other, protection and valuing peoples lifes. Without it I say we'd just end up killing each other.

Look at me trying to sound so smart, stating things that are already pretty much given facts in this life hahah

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. ~Eric Fromm

Amen to that as well!

Anyways here are some more wedding pics from this summer.

Hope you enjoy them!

Love,

PaperHeart

P.s. Remember to tell people you love how you really feel about them! Life's too short!

Time for a cheesy love song. I actually happen to love this song couse it helds so many memories. Enjoy if you can! ;D

"Inside my mind..."

Boredom...this is what boredom does to you...you sit home alone, ideas come to your head but there's no models around...so what do you do? you start taking photos of yourself. And don't even use the ideas you had in your head...HOW selfcentered am I?

anyways I don't think I have any bright things to say today. Even though I have been alone with my thoughts all day.

Ugh, I need to get this life of mine in a roll...If anybody has any links or news for me about photography schools/classes in England and in Denmark then let me know (especially in Denmark since I can't seem to find any from there...international that is...I don't speak Danish) Why Denmark, you ask? couse we've been planing to move abroad with my sister together and she really wants to go to Denmark...so yeah...I don't have anything against it if I find a photography school in Englaish from there. If not England is still very dear to me and I do wanna go there...I'm just looking at all my options...

My brain is getting dumb...dumb dumbdi dumb...

yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh....

"You're my one and only thrill..."

To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another. ~Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

Hey Everyone!

I was looking through my blog and I realised something...there's something missing...can you figure out what it is? I realised that I don't say much...

I mean I know that I made this blog for my photography, to show the "world" what I'm made of, (photography wise that is). But I think it might actually be time for me to share more of my thought as well. Yes I know, surprisingly enough I do have thought in this 'always-in-a-dreamland' head of mine :)

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death. ~Betty Bender

Something has been pressing my mind lately, well not as much pressing as making me restless. I wanna move back to England (or somewhere that is out of this country) and I've been desperately trying to find some schools. I'm full of this enthusiasm for moving away and starting something new and actually getting back to school. But things don't seem to go anywhere...I feel like I'm standing still.

And you know what? I hate fear...I hate it...

For a long looong time I had issues with going to school, fear mostly...fear of failing, or doing errors, fear of giving the wrong answers and fear of being disappointed...better yet being a disappointment. Fear of letting people down...I hate letting people down. Some would say that that sounds like a perfectionist, but I'm far from that. I'm just a chicken I suppose :P

Anyways, I was probably the most thrilled person in the world when I finally, after years of struggling, finished school and started just going to work. But now the time I thought would "never" come, has come and I want to go back to school so baaaad, couse I want to move forward in photography. Be the best that I can be in it. Actually learn all the right terms for things and pick someone else's brain, someone who knows more than I do now and could help me become better...possibly to be one of the best?

Now that I've finally gotten over the fear, things are not moving forward. Oh well, I suppose I just need to be patient and keep looking...I do strangly enough have a feeling inside that things will be alright, that they will go just as they're supposed to go. My life has done that for me so far (even when it has taken a turn I wouldn't have picked out as my first choise) so it might just be possible that it will continue doing just that. So we'll see...

Well I'm sure that the fear kicks in again when I find myself going for interviews for the schools (sounds so funny that you have to be interviewd for a school, but that's how it goes)

I suppose I should just imbrace fear and be thankful for it. With fear, like with almost anything in this life, there's always two ways to go. Either we learn from it or we get crippled by it. It should be something that pushes us forward, makes us grow as humans.

If there was nothing to fear for, life would be pretty empty in my oppinion. Couse usually behind fear there is a feeling that you have something to lose in this life. Something you wanna hold on to dearly. People who say that they aren't scared of anything, that they don't have fears, scare me :D hahah

There are times when fear is good. It must keep its watchful place at the heart's controls. ~Aeschylus

well that was that...thoughts about fear today ladies and gentleman :)

As you can see there's two drawings I made this evening...well I was practising. I haven't drawn in a long looong time and you can see that I'm really rusty. never thought that that would happen, but apparently it can. So bare with me on this. Or maybe I shoukld try and bare with myself on this...I'm always too hard on myself.

Anyways, thought I'd share them with you none the less, so there they are, enjoy!

Thanks for tuning in,

Love,

PaperHeart

Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them... they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight. ~Orison Swett Marden

"fade in to you, I think it's strange you never knew..."

My photo project for today :)

They didn't quite turn out the way I had planned in my head (they never do actually) but I kind of like them none the less...

I got this idea one night in England when I was laying in my bed and just wondering stupid things like "hmm I wonder what it would feel like just to fade away...just fade to the air..." yeah I know random thoughts, but that's how I get my inspirations...I listen to music, wonder and see all these images in my head. That's how it goes...

And surprise surprise Mazzy Star's song fade into you was playing from my player at that moment :D hahah

Hope you enjoy them!

Love,

PaperHeart

"I just think I'm free..."

Played around with some "old" photos today...
bored I tell yah, bored...

Love,
PaperHeart

"To hear your name or someone's laugh that is the same..."

So here I am..back in Finland...and NOT liking it...
fevershly trying to find a way back to England...or more like money for photography school in England...I've decided to go back..just need the money :/
Anyways, I came back 3 days ago and had a wedding yesterday where I was the photographer for the couple's pics and as a guest in the actual wedding party, so it worked out nicely for me :)
Just showing you few of the pics, and surprise surprise I chose the B&W ones :P hahah
Still have plenty of photos to go through...sheeesh...

Love,
PaperHeart

"This is the thing..."

Hey there people!
My time here in England is ending and I have bitter sweet feelings about it. England has really grown on me and I don't feel like going back home anymore.
Such is life!
Anyways, here are few family pictures I took of a really nice family I've gotten to know here. (much more to come...I took quite many pics)
Hope you enjoy them and I really hope they enjoy them!

PaperHeart

I love this song...Fink - This is the thing

"make my heart feel surprised..."

hahah :D oh maan, I have to share somehting that happened today with
the youngest one of the kids...
He was in his room with his mom changing his clothes and they were singin "London bridge is falling down falling down falling down..." don't know if you're familiar with that song, but anyways, the funny part was when the mom stopped singing and we could hear what Topias was singin. He sang "London bitch is falling down falling down falling down" we burst out laughing and the poor guy had no idea what we were laughing at...aaaaw, bless him <3>

Another funny thing he said was when his grandparents were visiting and his grandma was putting on some makeup, he looked at her and asked "Why are you putting that on your face?"
Grandma: "It makes my skin look good"
Him: "and helps it from falling off"
HAHAHAH! Got to love kids :D hahah

Here's him wearing his "king of britain" outfit as he'd say:Love,
PaperHeart

"It's hard to let this go..."

Hey yah people!
Had a great weekend with my big sis in London town, Thorpe park and Guildford. We were lucky to have great weather through the weekend and took some pictures randomly Unfortunately I didn't have my own camera with me in thorpe park (not a place for it :P) but I used my sisters cam and she has the pics from there. I LOOOVE rollercoasters and it was a good place to experience some rollercoaster madness!

So anyways, here's few pictures from this weekend:

See how graceful my sister is and then compare them to my movements in the pictures above...yeah not the most graceful person in the world...oh well you can't have it all hahah

Hope you all have a beautiful sunny summer weather as I do and can enjoy it full heartedly!
Love,
PaperHeart