"I had nothing to spend but time on you ..."

What exactly did I do last weekend?

Saw the National (alone) and died in extasy...

Had a sucky camera with me on that gig, not my own baby :/, but I tried my best...

I'm still in awe of the whole concert, just AH!

Then the next day I travelled to another city with my friends and saw my brother do the "impossible" by eating the biggest meal there was, getting his name on the wall and throw up afterwards...

While the rest of us enjoyed our "small" meals...

He said, and I quote "no problem, this is a small meal, no problem, I can do it..."
Yeah dude, it looks small but you didnt know what you got yourself in, did you?

The ever so fearless tigers at our table :D hahah

So yeah I've been a busy bee once again after a fun weekend of random stuff I need to concentrade on preassignments for the finnish art school yet again. I did how ever manage to get myself in to a school in England, woop woop!! I feel so releaved and yet VERY paniced! money money moneyyyyy!! is the name of the problem...School aint free over there like it is over here, PLUS I need to travel to the states as well...Me is not made out of money, no matter how much me wants it....Any ideas how I could start pooping money?

Aint it funny, that we spend our lives mostly wishing for something new, something exciting, something to change our lives, perhaps (like in my case) wish and hope to be able to move away to another country, we wish and hope and pray and when that moment actually comes, all of a sudden we see all the good things we already have that we might have to give up for that something new. You start to see all the good things there are in your country (however bland and boring it is) and start to hesitate, is this what I really want? why did I wanna change this?
Don't get me wrong, I want this, I need to do this for my own mental healths sake and to be actually able to FINALLY be the person that I want to be, to have the career I've always wanted. To see how far I can go with this...but still, we all get that feeling at some point when our lives are about to change, don't we?


Two songs that gave me the chills on that gig, first, The National - wasps nest:

second (warm up band), Sharon van etten - Love More:

Then lyrics that inspire me at the moment:

"Don't wait to take what's there

And then make it what you want

All that you need to have

Is right there inside your heart

No need to look around

When you could be lookin' in

You say you'll find

You will find it

1 comment:

Irene said...

Haha, mä niiiin tiedän mistä sä puhut. Mulla on vielä lisäks se että en osaa elää/nauttia nykyhetkestä vaan haaveilen aina jostain tulevasta. Ja sitten kun just haaveilee jostain ulkomaista sun muusta ni tulee välilllä sellanen olo et uskallankohan mä sittenkään lähteä mihinkään täältä :D Hei niistä kuvista... :) Siis se postaus mitä sillon kommentoin niin niistä kuvista esim tykkäsin. Ehkä palaan tarkemmin asiaan sitten kun meidän uus kämppä on siinä kunnossa et kaikki pahvilaatikot on purettu et voi alkaa miettii tarkemmin sisustuksellisia elementtejä :)