"and the softest sigh when I’m empty..."

Today I kindly went to the city to meet up with my friends, to do something lovely for us human beings...but instead of that this is all I got...

...yes ladies and gentleman that's all you get when your hemoglobin is too low and you try to donate blood. It doesn't matter how badly you want to do it and wish and hope and the nurse tries and tries to take it over again from your other finger as well, it wont go up :/
I was sooo looking forward to it. I try to donate every 3 months (cause that's as often as women can do it) and my hemoglobine has always been superb (yes I use fancy words like 'superb' every now and then :P) and I've never had this problem before, but the nurse said that since I had been to the gym right before this and had been drinking a lot of water that it could have lovered my hemoglobine.
Damn you gym!

...ah well, next time in June then...poo!

Love,
PaperHeart






And it’s the darkest side of my heart that dies when you come to me,
And it’s the golden ticket I win when you kill my enemies,
I hear the father’s cry and the softest sigh when I’m empty,
But if you leave me I’ll get me gone and drowned face down muddy in the water.

"They could grow wings and fly like birds..."

Better to be up (in the sky) than down...

Like I've said before, I loooove looking at the sky (I could do it for hours and hours) and taking pictures of it and I have TON of pictures like these, so I'll be posting sky pictures every now and then...there yah go...

Love,
PaperHeart

Two songs I looove...

"I’ve been searching, for a couple words.
They could grow wings and fly like birds,
course i know it sounds absurd
but when you’re in love, all the lines get blurred..."

"Take our time See the signs On the road to somewhere..."

This photo was taken around january 2010. We went sledding with my friends and as usual I had my camera with me...and this is something I took "accidentally"


I know I know, I've been posting the most random photos lately, none of them have been a project I've had in mind or anything planned..but people, I photograph a LOT and when I say alot, I really mean it. Most of those photos just pile up in my computer and never see "the daylight". So lately I've been going through my photo folders, trying to find beautiful/look worthy photos that I haven'te really noticed before or have forgotten about. Just pictures ans moments from average life. So bare with me and atleast try to enjoy them and find the same beauty that I see.

Love,
PaperHeart


Haven't listened to Goldfrapp in a looong looong time. Like REALLY listened, concentraded on it, you knooooow what I mean. So I was so glad when I started to listen to goldfrapp cd's that I have and "found her" again, if you could say that...

"I had nothing to spend but time on you ..."

What exactly did I do last weekend?

Saw the National (alone) and died in extasy...

Had a sucky camera with me on that gig, not my own baby :/, but I tried my best...

I'm still in awe of the whole concert, just AH!

Then the next day I travelled to another city with my friends and saw my brother do the "impossible" by eating the biggest meal there was, getting his name on the wall and throw up afterwards...

While the rest of us enjoyed our "small" meals...

He said, and I quote "no problem, this is a small meal, no problem, I can do it..."
Yeah dude, it looks small but you didnt know what you got yourself in, did you?

The ever so fearless tigers at our table :D hahah


So yeah I've been a busy bee once again after a fun weekend of random stuff I need to concentrade on preassignments for the finnish art school yet again. I did how ever manage to get myself in to a school in England, woop woop!! I feel so releaved and yet VERY paniced! money money moneyyyyy!! is the name of the problem...School aint free over there like it is over here, PLUS I need to travel to the states as well...Me is not made out of money, no matter how much me wants it....Any ideas how I could start pooping money?

Aint it funny, that we spend our lives mostly wishing for something new, something exciting, something to change our lives, perhaps (like in my case) wish and hope to be able to move away to another country, we wish and hope and pray and when that moment actually comes, all of a sudden we see all the good things we already have that we might have to give up for that something new. You start to see all the good things there are in your country (however bland and boring it is) and start to hesitate, is this what I really want? why did I wanna change this?
Don't get me wrong, I want this, I need to do this for my own mental healths sake and to be actually able to FINALLY be the person that I want to be, to have the career I've always wanted. To see how far I can go with this...but still, we all get that feeling at some point when our lives are about to change, don't we?

Love,
PaperHeart

Two songs that gave me the chills on that gig, first, The National - wasps nest:



second (warm up band), Sharon van etten - Love More:




Then lyrics that inspire me at the moment:


"Don't wait to take what's there

And then make it what you want

All that you need to have

Is right there inside your heart



No need to look around

When you could be lookin' in

You say you'll find

You will find it "

"Seek out the light between Time and confusion glowing up ahead..."

"...Take your medicine and crawl before you walk
Think it through before you open your mouth to talk
Be an advocate of joy
Find your little heart's desire and

Follow it...

...Don't be afraid, this is your year
It's gonna be alright, you're a performer
Just take your time, but not too much time..."

Love,
PaperHeart

"I'm the only friend you'll need to know? Give me all your troubles, let them go..."

Little sparkling light on her face...

Now I know I know, everyone uses the polaroid efect now a days and it aint that original, but I cant help it! Me likes it very muchooo and I thought it fit well with what I was going for in these photos.
I love lazy mornings, I love setting and rising sun, I love my sister, I love her pretty pretty pretty face, I love taking photos of her messing around and I love the fact that she's the most natural model for my photos. Alhough I am looking for new faces, got to find some pretty models for my next projects.

I guess she was going for the "uh I'm so cool" look...not sure if she got it :P hahah

I just love that huge shirt on her (borrowed from her husband of course) and how it hid even her fingertips...

Yes, we went to the freezing cold as well and yes she was such a sweetheart for doing this for me!

mmmm, I suppose that was that for today...
I think I might go to bed now, new day tomorrow and new moments ahead!

Love,
PaperHeart


Music that inspired me today...






"...You've got nothing to lose
They took it all while you looked away
I know you paid your dues
Do you need somewhere to stay

I could out your every wrong to right
I will be your sanctuary tonight
Crossover and come inside
Crossover and come inside
I'm the only friend you'll need to know?
Give me all your troubles, let them go..."

"I was following the pack, All swallowed in their coats ..."

Winter is getting (almost) unbearable for me. I was sick for a week last week and I still have a runny nose and a cough that just won't leave me alone.
Eh well, summer will come eventually and atleast it is pretty outside (although that doesn't help much when it's -20c and you don't dare to go out)
I know I've said this million times before and will probably say it million times more, but I was NOT made for this weather. I'm a summer child! Me and summer, we're best buddies and we couldn't imagine living without each other. For pete's sake you can even hear summer in my name (kind of...) I like things warm, hot even, I love the scent of sun and hot sand on your skin, to be honest I don't think there's any scent that I wouldn't like that the summer brings. Ah to feel the heath, to swim first all day long and then all evening long and maybe all night long as well and to run around in the rain and then smell the air after rain and and and and...I could go on for ever, but it's no use. Winter is STILL here and it doesnt seem to be going anywhere from here in a loooong time :/
Anyhooooooow, more photos, this time surprise surprise they are wintery.

Love,
PaperHeart


"...I was following the pack,
All swallowed in their coats
With scarves of red tied 'round their throats
To keep their little heads
From fallin' in the snow ..."